by Charley Reese
reese.king-online.com
April 26, 2002

I have found a substitute for my recently deceased dog that requires no baths, no flea treatments and no trips to the vet. I got them for peanuts. Five or six squirrels visit me several times a day and give my old soul a big, cheerful boost with their perky little faces and bright eyes.

Some days ago, I spotted a squirrel looking at me as I sat on the patio. I had just bought a big jug of unsalted peanuts, so I retrieved it and scattered a few on the patio. It wasn't long before five squirrels were busy chowing down on peanuts.

That might have been a one-time or at least an occasional event but for one perky little fellow. One morning when I was having my coffee in the living room, this little guy shows up, scouts the patio for peanuts and, finding it empty, comes over to the sliding glass door, puts his little paws up on it and peers inside. It was as if he were saying, "Hey, mister, got any more peanuts?" I couldn't resist. Since then, he has come within a few inches of me, sat down and looked at me for several minutes.

I know that some grinches hate squirrels. Well, to each his own. I love them. Like children, they seem to me brimming with innocent life, and it makes me feel good just to sit and watch them. Sometimes they will lie flat on their bellies. They chase each other, but I have never seen them fight. They don't mind the blackbirds, blue jays or doves that occasionally join them on the patio for peanuts.

These particular squirrels seem to me more reddish brown than gray. I said "seem" because I'm colorblind, and my observations of colors are not always accurate. I see colors; I just don't see the same colors a non-colorblind person sees. But they are beautiful animals.

I've noticed that squirrels pick up peanuts with their mouths, sometimes two or three at a time. Then they sit on their haunches and apparently spit them out into their front paws, which hold the peanuts while they eat, their little jaws going like tiny pistons. They drink out of the birdbath.

It's hard for me to believe that I used to hunt squirrels with my .22 rifle. And, yes, squirrel tastes like chicken. I couldn't bear to shoot one now. In fact, about the only species I'm still willing to shoot are humans — some of whom can be the vilest, nastiest, most dangerous creatures in the animal kingdom — and rats.

At least where I live, squirrels, doves, snakes, raccoons, possums, armadillos and alligators have adapted quite well to urban life, as have lizards, spiders and insects. They seem to live happily, if unobtrusively, among the big people. Occasionally someone will get bit by a brown recluse spider, and sometimes rabies will break out among raccoons. Sometimes a dog, or even more rarely a child, will fall victim to a gator. By and large, though, everyone lives together.

The only species I draw the line at is rats. I suppose some people can find good things to say about rats, but not me. I heard some people say that squirrels are rats with bushy tails. That's not true. Both are rodents, but if you look at a rat closely, you will see that it has mean eyes. Squirrels have very friendly and curious eyes. I've never heard of a baby having its toes gnawed off by squirrels, but I have seen a baby whose toes were chewed off by rats. Come to think of it, I hate rats. I only wish snakes had faster metabolisms and could eat more of them than they do.

There is a lot of nature in our back yards if we are willing to sit quietly and observe it. I've noticed that while there are some obvious newborn lizards running around, the older lizards are still mating. I'll look into this and report back to you. In fact, there is a lot I need to learn about lizards. I still have not figured out where they sleep or the names of the different kinds that inhabit my yard.

I once thought seriously about becoming a naturalist, and in retrospect I wish I had, or at least a forester or a wildlife officer. There are few critters in the wild that can be as obnoxious as human beings can be.

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