An Easter Egg Hunt for Weapons of Mass Destruction
Date: Saturday, April 05 @ 10:13:37 UTC
Topic: Nuclear

by Ben Roberts

Forget about your unpleasant cares and worries of the day. About war, about the concern for safety, and the worry over your job and financial well being. You are once again a child at Easter time, at an Easter Egg hunt in your neighborhood, or possibly at the White House annual Easter Egg hunt. What a great time you had. The painstakingly dyed colorful eggs have been surreptitiously 'hidden' by the adults, and you are let loose as part of a horde of kids to 'find' them. Makes you want to smile just thinking about it, and wish you could be exiled in that pleasant nostalgic world of memories for a while. Okay, you have a minute of silent pleasant reflection before we return to our real distressing world of the present.

This past Monday was April Fool's Day. A day for playing harmless jokes and tricks on others. The Bush Administration are the ones playing the jokes, which are anything but harmless. The butt of the jokes are Americans, the Iraqis, and the world. Americans have had a joke played on them by being conned into a war that they were told would make them safe, by relieving Iraq of weapons of mass destruction. The joke is that American citizens are not any safer now that Iraq has been attacked. In fact, our nation has been placed under an elevated code orange, meaning we are at increased danger. As regards weapons of mass destruction, US forces have yet to find any such weapons. If we are to believe Bush's 'pictures' of Iraqi weapons of mass destruction sites during his United Nations appearance last year, or Colin Powell's intelligence 'photos' there this year, American forces should have immediately waded into a sea of weapons of mass destruction. They have not. The joke is on us. Bush must be grinning as he mutters under his breath, 'Suckers!' But not only Bush. Donald Rumsfeld, and Dick Cheney must also be guffawing at the joke they have played on us. Both men assured us that the war would be quick. Cheney went so far to tell us that Iraq's premier fighters, the special Republican Guard, would actually step aside in the face of advancing US forces. That has not happened. Good for Cheney. A lengthy war translates into more Iraqi infrastructure contract work and money for his former employer, Halliburton. Since he reportedly still receives compensation from them, their increased financial fortunes go hand in hand with his.

The common pious terms 'Operation Iraqi Freedom,' and 'Iraqi resources belong to the Iraqi people,' that we keep hearing, is nothing short of a joke the Bush Administration is attempting to play on the Iraqi people as it relieves and frees them of their resources. British Prime Minister, Tony Blair went as far as stating in a meeting to his Parliament that 'British soldiers are giving their lives for Iraqi people.' What a joke. Is this man hallucinating, or does he still think the world is made up of dolts he can play practical jokes on with plagiarized documents? Iraqi resources are a gold mine, and that is why we are there. Why do you think US forces quickly grabbed the southern oilfields? We keep hearing that Iraq has the second largest oil reserves. They fail to tell us that, when and if the as yet untapped and inexhaustible Majnoon oilfields were to come online, Iraq would be the world's number one producer of oil in the world, eclipsing Saudi Arabia and Kuwait combined. The United States will not, under any circumstances, allow Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein or his people to oversee such unimaginable wealth and power. That is why US post war plans for Iraq calls for numerous ministries with an American heading each one, and Iraqis serving as advisers.

Another huge financial boon in Iraq is the billions to be had by whoever gets to build that country's communications system. Specifically the antiquated phone system. The Associated Press carried a story this weekend about a group of peace activists who took a harrowing road trip as they fled out of Baghdad headed for Jordan. Along the miles and miles of highway, and especially around Ar Rutbah, an Iraqi town at the Jordanian border, they noticed for some strange reason that, along with the attacked and burned out cars, the telephone poles had also been destroyed by American fighter planes, and littered the highway. Not strange when you think about it. The more the phone system is deliberately destroyed the bigger the contract to guess who? An American firm. These terms 'Iraqi freedom' and 'the Iraqi resources are for the Iraqi people,' are one big April Fool's joke this Administration is attempting to play on the unsuspecting Iraqis.

So we are wise to their April Fool's jokes. But we still have to contend with the Easter Egg hunt. The BBC radio reported yesterday that both Hans Blix and ElBaradei, top UN inspectors for chemical weapons and nuclear weapons respectively, are furious that the US government has approached a number of their people wanting them to be part of an American effort at finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Can you believe this? These are the same investigators who were there and did not find any weapons. They were berated by the Bush Administration as being incompetent when they turned up nothing. Now the US wants to hire them for their skills so that they can 'find' such weapons? Don't be too taken aback. Here's how the scenario will go down:

These individuals will be in the employ of the US to 'find' weapons of mass destruction. To regain any semblance of respectability in the world, after having invaded Iraq, the US has to 'find' these weapons. To repair its relations with Europe, the EU, and NATO, the US has to 'find' these weapons. To gain the upper hand over France, Germany, and Russia and say 'I told you so,' the US has to 'find' these weapons. To convince the world that its so called war on terrorism and dangerous pre-emptive strike policy is sound, and worthy of moving onto the next axis member on the list, the US has to 'find' these weapons. To convince American citizens that the $75 billion being requested of them for starters for the war on Iraq, is worth it in making them safe, the US has to 'find' these weapons. And 'find' them they will. The stakes are too high not to. (See the insightful, well written article at SmirkingChimp by Lisa Walsh Thomas titled Demons of Necessity: Why WMD Will be Found, and dated April 1, 2003.)

It will boil down to an Easter Egg hunt by adults paid to 'find' Easter Eggs. In this case the eggs will be the prized weapons of mass destruction. They will have no problems 'finding' them because there will be no problems 'placing' them. Consider this. Our military has assured us that they have control of something in excess of 80% of Iraq. Donald Rumsfeld tells us this constantly. Sounds good. Spectacular military accomplishment. It also means that such control allows the US military to do anything it wants in Iraq. So they will have an Easter Egg hunt. They will be the adults surreptitiously placing the weapons of mass destruction over all Iraq. In a wadi here. In a cave there. In the barren desert way out there. In the swamp right here. Its easier than you think. Remember the US and Britain sold Iraq the technology for these weapons in the first place. So knowing what to 'place' is no problem. Good. The stage is set. Now we let loose the hordes of 'children' for the spectacular Easter Egg hunt. Only these are not children. These are adults, who will be paid by the US to 'find' these prizes. They are weapons inspectors. They are professionals. 'Finds' by them are the only way the US can claim any legitimacy in this undertaking. But since they will be paid by the very government that stands to benefit from their 'finds,' how much legitimacy can there really be in such an exercise? There is a saying that goes like this: 'If you sup with the devil be sure to use a long spoon.' One would hope that any of those UN inspectors willing to facilitate the Bush Administration's 'search' for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, have in their possession long spoons. For their sake. For the Iraqis sake. For US citizens sake, and for the world's sake.

Ben Roberts is a newsletter editor, freelance writer and published author. His book, Jackals of Samarra, was published in January 2001. Ben can be contacted by email at:

This article comes from

The URL for this story is: