Trinidad and Tobago

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Taking a break

By Terry Joseph
June 04, 2004

As we continue to bring you live blow-by-blow coverage of all the murder and mayhem here in Trinidad and Tobago, we take a short break now, returning you to master-control for a few messages:

Commercial #1 - New Models

As thousands of our satisfied customers know, you too can reduce anxiety by accentuating the positive. Exchange screams of "thief, murder, bandit and kidnap" for shrieks of delight at our beautiful new models. Lift your spirits and trade-in paranoia for pleasure.

We are currently offering two models, Aqiyla Gomez and Danielle Jones, both proven winners of international competitions, in an attractive twin-package hailed worldwide. Gomez is internationally acclaimed as best in the world, having outperformed 59 other models in her class last Friday in Zhejiang, China.

Gomez, a former runner with Memphis Sports Club, also plays pan and comes from a family that includes a former captain of Petrotrin Phase II Pan Groove and musical arranger for Courts Sound Specialists of Laventille and Peake's Scrunters Pan Groove.

International consultants have ranked Jones top of the region and fifth overall in the world. Endorsed by the Caribbean Communications Network (CCN) and tested at performance trials in Quito, Ecuador, this model won rave reviews across the globe.

Get up to speed on both models and brighten your view of Trinidad and Tobago. From the people who brought you Janelle "Penny" Commissiong-Bowen, Giselle La Ronde-West and Wendy Fitzwilliam; new world-class models are available now!

Commercial #2 - Trini Image

If you are among those who constantly complain of aches and pains, feeling depressed when advertisements for other Caribbean countries appear on cable television, quick relief is now available: Get your copy of the NBC-TV Network's Today Show of Wednesday June 2, featuring two of Trinidad and Tobago's celebrated products.

Guaranteed to ease the hurt and delight your palate, top chef Deborah Sardinha-Metivier, smartly outfitted in white tunic emblazoned in red with the words "Trinidad and Tobago", prepares curried chicken (marinated in local rum), accra, calypso rice, "Maracas" bake and shark, saheena and a soca salad for NBC anchor Al Roker, as part of Caribbean Week celebrations in New York; the video features a bonus soundtrack of scintillating steelpan music.

And this is also a double-offer, as homeboy Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, now retired from basketball after reaching the top of the game, mentions his native land as he details his success in gathering collectibles celebrating African-American involvement in military pursuits of his adopted homeland.

The Buffalo Soldier collection is Jabbar's personal initiative, which has been hailed worldwide.

Commercial # 3 -

Laventille Self-Esteem

Do you live in Laventille? Well, here's good news for you! Now you too can achieve success. Results are guaranteed from our inspirational Fitzgerald Hinds doll, which comes complete with fashionable dreadlocks and barbered beard. This keepsake may be used as a decorative piece or a muse for motivation.

Don't settle for one small junior ministerial post because you are from the Hill! Now you too can get not one but two such jobs if you stand your ground and dash the oppressive colonial theory about "a bird in the hand". Don't believe advertisements by unscrupulous providers who make you feel you cannot accomplish your goal. Get the Fitzgerald Hinds motivational doll today! Call 62-Prime.

Commercial #4 -

Investment Opportunity

Hey, if you've got some extra cash lying idle and wish to invest in the future of Trinidad and Tobago, a golden opportunity awaits you this weekend. Police are once more issuing tickets and those using the nation's roads for daredevil or swashbuckling adventures can get in on the action.

Last weekend, officers were able to service some 780 investors in the new outreach programme, raking in more than $150,000 in this speedy, quick-turnover exercise. Drag racing enthusiasts, persons operating defective vehicles and other offenders are guaranteed priority attention.

Commercial #5 -

The Sporting Life

Calling all sports fans! Replays of events featuring triumphant Trinis are now available and can be had by calling The Source. For golf-lovers, the best of Stephen Ames, swimmers can get exciting clips of George Bovell III and for those with an eye on the ball, a catalogue of Brian Lara's finest moments.

Commercial #6 - Uplifting Notes

Followers of indigenous music can re-live the moment Adesh Samaroo won the national chutney monarch final, or share Brother Mudada's recent victory at the calypso king of the world contest in St Thomas.

Witness Sean Daniel receiving the Barbados Flame Gospel Award, see ten-year-old LeAndra Head take the WeTalent crown, or get tickets for Liam Teague's July 1 performance of a new symphony written especially for the pan virtuoso by Grammy Award winning classical composer, Libby Larsen.

House Announcer:

Customers who call within the next 15 minutes can also select free gifts, including transparent diplomatic pouches, adorable ice-sculptures hand-crafted from frozen assets, antique pictures of children and teachers peacefully attending school and several other hard-to-find items.

Cue: Back to the Action

And now (sigh), we now-quite reluctantly-rejoin the live action going on in Trinidad and Tobago.

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